When we were still in college, my husband had 38 first job interviews before he landed a second one.He was horrible at interviews, but by the 38th one, he had learned how to engage with good questions, talk about himself an appropriate amount and gauge interest from himself and the interviewer.And unless someone’s making arrangements for you, it’s worth spending at least a little bit of time with the person before you decide if they are worth marrying. But it’s foolish to think that the way a girl or guy acts in a group of friends is the same as how they’ll act one on one.Dating helps two people sort out what it would be like to be together, to be in a friendship.What I mean is this: if fighting in your dating world means hitting, pushing, shoving, name calling, yelling, manipulating, or anything rude that occurs on a consistent basis then, of course, turn walk away. In bad relationships, bad things happen and will continue to happen if you let them. Wisdom always does now what brings satisfaction later.
Everyone is different when you get them one-on-one.
Of course, one of the biggest obstacles toward casual dating is the inevitable “ending.” So many of us equate kindness with never saying anything hard to anyone. Kindness is honoring someone in your treatment of them, but kindness is also honoring them by ending a dating relationship if needed. But the purpose of dating isn’t to just accumulate boyfriends or girlfriends—it’s to find a best friend and partner for life.
If you’ve maintained boundaries and treated your date with respect, you’ve protected him or her from false and premature intimacy. And when you find him or her, chances are, none of those other guys or gals you’ve casually dated will matter much in the light of your spouse. You can’t have the attention of multiple dates and still be pursuing a God-honoring relationship with one.
Nicole Unice is the author of ÒBrave Enough: Getting Over our Fears, Flaws and Failures to Live Bold and Free.Ó (Tyndale, 2015) and travels frequently enough to almost feel like she can fly.
It’s perfectly healthy to forgive, but it’s not OK to be unwise.
What if dating is about getting to know someone and gauging interest, not lifelong compatibility?