“EMK’s advice seems unrealistic for anyone not wearing a promise ring.” Actually, it’s quite realistic.
If you think she’s playing games to “catch” you, then nothing I can do will convince you.
Understand, if a guy is really into you after 3 dates, you can both agree to give a relationship a shot and have sex.
I’ve done that a number of times – where I was so whipped that I dove into an exclusive sexual relationship right away.
Remember, that’s the biggest problem – you’ve seen it all over this blog: “Men only text! This advice is ONLY for women who are SICK of sleeping with men and feeling like crap afterward because they don’t know where they stand. “What I want to challenge you on is this notion that women ought to be bartering sex for commitment.” I would like to challenge that notion, too.
Because my clients who hold out for commitment are not bartering sex for commitment.
Believe it or not, most men do not lie in order to get sex. Sex is so readily available from women that there’s no incentive for a guy to have to say something untrue like, “I love you” or “I want to be your boyfriend” in order to get laid. Holding out for commitment will, in fact, scare the guy away who only wants to get laid. And if she let me know that she didn’t sleep with guys outside of a commitment, I’d have been out the door in a heartbeat.
But since most men do not want the hassle or the emotion of calling you a girlfriend and THEN bailing, by refusing sex without commitment, you weed those guys out.
What I’m talking about here is completely different. Why not just save intercourse for men who verbally told you that they want to be exclusive with you? Now to avoid being misinterpreted: if you WANT to text, fuck, and not have any expectations from the guy, God Bless You.
You can “remove expectations” and not be too surprised when the guy who fucked you is on Ok Cupid the next day. Why remove all expectations from men and expect nothing from them? This advice has nothing to do with you and you should have absolutely no criticism of it.
“Best thing is to remove expectations so you will never get hurt.” As a dating coach, I spend a lot of time managing women’s expectations and trying to ensure they’re realistic.
If you expect to fall in love in 30 days on Match, you’ll be disappointed.
Therefore, it’s wise to take your love life seriously at a younger age, and make smart compromises when you have the most attention from the largest pool of high quality men. “Sex doesn’t keep any man who doesn’t want to be kept. If he isn’t marriage-minded, it makes little difference.” Mostly correct.