So look your absolute best, get your guy gussied up, and plaster a big ol' smile on your face.Then don't so much as look at your ex unless it's absolutely necessary.If your ex really is over you, he's not going to bring up the past to try to get a reaction out of you. But anything more than that and thoughts like, "I'll just corner him in a bathroom stall ..." will start crossing your mind. On the off chance that he does, be the bigger person andwalk away. I don't think there's any need to revisit it—especially when two marriages (AND your best friend's wedding) are at stake. As much as you regret losing your ex, you don't want to regret being the drunken bridesmaid who made a fool of herself at her best friend's wedding. Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence, is on weekly to chat live with readers. (Sign up here to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week. Things were going great for me, my daughter and my relationship with "Tim." Tim and I were set up by a mutual friend who is a professor at the college my daughter attends. I feel like I am in a horribly-written daytime soap opera. Parenting, Dating: I've been divorced for five years, raised a wonderful daughter who is in her fourth year of college, and started dating a wonderful man one year ago.My daughter took a class from him last year on my suggestion. My daughter had met my boyfriend early in our relationship but was only just recently invited to meet her boyfriend's father—he is a widower of 10 years. I feel like all four of us are getting serious and marriage has been talked about between both couples as well.
And I don't want him—or anyone else—figuring out that I'm still in love with him. Like a long-unused childhood nickname, my ears pricked to the phrase. What I found so puzzling was simply how much his new life resembled our old life. A glimpse of their dining room table and chairs brought back memories; they'd once been in my house.The demise of our marriage was not terribly acrimonious, but neither was it friendly. Her initial missive turned into a back and forth of several light notes and a Facebook friending. I could see for myself some of the information I'd picked up, somewhat unwillingly, from the occasional holiday cards my former mother-in-law sent. [pullquote]My ex, about a year after telling me he not only didn't want to be married to me, but he also didn't want to be married at all, was getting married again.[/pullquote]Unexpectedly, all this visual evidence of my ex's current life chafed at me a bit. The little shocks of recognition I experienced were forcing a different kind of confrontation within myself.My ex is the best man; he's the brother of the groom.My ex and I are both happily married, but the breakup was very tough and very emotional.When I was getting divorced, the first of my peers to do so, I got an odd sense of consolation from a friend who made this observation: "A lot of people stay together simply due to lack of imagination." I recognized even then that part of my problem, which became part of our marriage's problem, was that I had begun to imagine a life that was maybe more, maybe better, but mostly just different from what I had.