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Harry Houdini fucking around with heavyweight champ Jack Dempsey and lightweight champ Benny Leonard.Those of you with fight experience will notice he's set up for inside trips on both dudes, even as they're goofing around.Houdini makes me look like a punk prison bitch by comparison to his routine, however.

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At a time when most Americans and Brits busied themselves being skinnier than a dope fiend ten years into their habit, Houdini exercised like it was his penance for having been Ivan the Terrible in a past life.The result was a prolific series of competitions and athletic feats even the über-athlete Jim Thorpe would have considered fucking insane."As a teenager in New York City, Houdini was a member of several athletic organizations, competing in bicycle races, foot races, and boxing matches. Olympic swim team as a teen (he didn't make the cut), by 17 he was already an amateur boxer, and by the time he turned 18, he had beaten Sidney Thomas, a British racing champion, in a 20-mile race" (Flicker).He would plunge into the fast-moving East River to get his swimming fix, and running a ten-mile circuit in Central Park was an effortless feat for him. All of this was achieved with “vigorous self-training, to enable me to do remarkable things with my body, to make not one muscle or a group of muscles, but every muscle, a responsive worker, quick and sure…” (Mc Kay).When it had settled in his empty stomach, he walked around the room, on his feet this time, and then sat down and performed ambidextrous tears and switches with folded pieces of paper, while looking straight ahead and quietly reciting "Kubla Khan," "Casey at the Bat," and "The Song of Hiawatha." After he had both moved and spoken normally for a quarter of an hour, he carefully began to work his peristaltic muscles and gently refluxed the potato back up his gullet and into his hand.If that doesn't impress the living shit out of you, I highly doubt you're able to be impressed, because you're just a corpse staring at the screen with no comprehension of what you've read.That bizarre distinction is the sole mantle of the greatest escape artist and all-around baddest motherfucker in history, Harry Houdini.

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