They all said the same thing: Dudes just don’t bounce back after they get their heart broken the way women do.
I talked to countless people (of various genders and sexual orientations) about what I was observing.When I was 27 I started seeing a guy (let’s call him Brad), who was 10 years my senior. I was infatuated, revering Brad as the most wonderful guy I’d ever met, let alone dated. One of them was an ex he’d parted ways with over two decades ago. My first “real” boyfriend in college who I had been with for two years had once blubbered while we watched Jules et Jim because it was his ex’s favorite movie — an ex who left him because he’d cheated.He said he wanted something serious, and after a few intense dates, he said he wanted that with me. But after a few months, it became evident that Brad, however eager to settle down, would never be able to commit to me. Yes, Brad, pushing 40, was still hung up on a girl he’d been with in high school. Another guy I’d dated was seemingly over the girlfriend that had left him, but if ever she came up in conversation, he’d become so melancholy I’d have to leave him be for a good 15 minutes to stare longingly into space.As such they’re missing out on the tools that may be invaluable to anyone going through a loss or trauma.“Males lean heavily towards a belief that they should be able to deal with their own problems and solve them themselves,” says Coleman.“Asking for help has always been perceived as a weakness.“In some ways for me, it was never really over,” he’d said.