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She was shy and didn't talk much in what was likely an unfamiliar and perhaps overwhelming African American social setting.

Another of my male relatives brought home a woman for Christmas who seemed like a modern-day, socially progressive southern belle.

She was blonde, thin, big-bosomed, and even had a Germanic name.

She was probably very nice; but I cannot say for sure.

White men can therefore afford to be the pickiest group in the online dating market; they respond to fewer overtures than other men on dating websites, and they have a strong preference for white women.

White women are less willing than white men to date outside of their racial group, but heavier-set white women are more willing to date black men, because, researchers Cynthia Feliciano, Belinda Robnett, and Golnaz Komaie of UC Irvine posit, of "racial-beauty exchange theory" -- the notion that a white woman who is less attractive by the measure of dominant Euro-American beauty standards is willing to "trade down" on the racial hierarchy by dating a black man.

For both these men (and to be fair, they were not much older than 20 at the time and thus had plenty of maturing to do), white women were the pinnacle of womanhood -- the prize that they secretly coveted, the emotional weapon that they knew they could wield.

I'm also a bit surprised by the truly overwhelming support (97 percent) among African-Americans for interracial dating, as I'd always gotten the sense that this was a pretty contentious issue in the black community.Dating and marrying across racial lines should therefore be natural, common and acceptable. This is the United States, where a deep-seated notion of racial difference has been the rationalization for oppression, the rallying cry for discrimination against people who are not white.Within this racialized landscape in which whiteness has reigned supreme, the line between white and black has been the starkest marker of racial difference, with the white side of the line representing all that is positive, and the black side of the line representing all that is negative. I recognize that many people form loving relationships across the black-white color line.She was blonde, full figured, outgoing, and outspoken with a saucy southern accent and friendly, expressive manner.Two of my younger male relatives have recently been engaged to white women, and one tied the knot last summer.This is the way things would be if our love lives actually mirrored recent scientific findings, which tell us the human family is so genetically close that we share more than 99 percent of our DNA.

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