We started fooling around, but it only lasted five minutes and I cried afterwards.I told her I was crying because we didn't live near each other and couldn't be together, but really I didn't want to have sex and felt ashamed that I'd used her emotionally and told her I wanted to have sex when I didn't.Years later I wrote her a letter apologizing for leading her on, but I never heard back.I felt guilty about that for a long time, but I've forgiven myself now.I don't feel comfortable just casually hitting up someone to take my virginity at this point. If I was in a relationship, I probably wouldn't use it as much because I'd be thinking about specific situations or partners. I had a fairly serious high school relationship that lasted nine months.However, I don't watch porn in which straight people are having intercourse. He came out as bisexual halfway through the relationship, but I kind of suspected that he was gay, which he later told me he was.
However, we kept hooking up on and off for almost three years, with several heartbreaking, painful mini breakups in between.I've gone on dates with guys, mostly via Tinder and Hinge, but it never leads anywhere.I enjoy my own company and cherish my own space and I find dating really exhausting.The few guys I have considered sleeping with were situations that didn't work out. Woman A: On average I masturbate pretty often, maybe every other day or every day.Either we met briefly while I was visiting a friend in a different city, or we went on a couple dates and then things faded out. I watch porn pretty frequently and lately I watch it almost every time I masturbate.Woman C: I have never had a serious, committed boyfriend.