Their negativity was surprising and quite upsetting at times. One friend suggested I should just focus on being by myself, while a particularly charming family member questioned why being a mother wasn’t ‘enough for me’.They even implied that I should wait until my son was 16 – only another 15 years on my own then!In fact, a single-mum friend was seeing a guy who used her ‘lack of spontaneity’ as an excuse for sleeping with someone else.Now when I spot the word ‘spontaneous’ in a man’s dating profile, I swipe left.
Then there was the guy who wouldn’t accept that I’m only free every other weekend and wanted to come round to my house once my son was asleep.
I do realise this all sounds pretty depressing, but then, by some miracle, when I’d been single for around a year I met Jack* – someone I really liked who seemed to really like me.
As his kids were grown up, he didn’t suggest we have our first date at a soft play area or express his disdain for solo parents.
Another man I dated for a few months got annoyed that I couldn’t spontaneously go to London for a long weekend because I had Josh.
Sorry, but weekends away for me require months of notice and military-style planning.
Gradually I introduced him to Josh, and I also felt like I could trust him with my post-baby body.