The next time you have a conversation with your partner, ask him or her, “What do you feel about me right now? ” If you can communicate like this with each other consistently, you have the potential for building an intimate relationship.#3: Do We Consistently Reach Win/Win Resolutions To Our Problems?And if you can’t track it down through your own efforts, see a competent therapist to help you.Rabbi Dov Heller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who holds Masters Degrees in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University and in Contemporary Theology form Harvard University. A in philosophy and was ordained a rabbi in Jerusalem in 1982.As Shaya Ostrov says in his book, The Inner Circle,"I’m watching you, hearing you, paying attention to you.I’ve put it all together and have arrived at the conclusion that you and your life mean something to me." That’s why the essence of real love is friendship In a Jewish wedding ceremony, the bride and groom are given seven blessings.” Gary Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages, suggests that each of us has a dominant love language or emotional need that makes us feel loved when another “speaks” that language to us. It’s about taking on responsibility and being a giver. The cruelest thing a wife can do is nag her husband. Spiritual compatibility is one of the best ways to insure you’ll grow together.They are: gifts, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, and physical touch. Judaism understands that the essence of being a man is to give and provide. If he’s a good man and he’s trying hard, give him your love, not your list of demands. This means you are on the same page in terms of your values, priorities, and life goals.
In addition, he provides an international coaching and counseling service via telephone helping people with their personal and relationship challenges. Just because you can talk for hours on the phone and feel very connected, doesn’t mean you have good communication.The only way you know if you have good communication is when you have problems.When there is a disagreement of any kind, small or large, this is when you find out how good or how bad your communication is.The essence of good communication is that you can consistently reach win-win solutions to your problems and disagreements. The communication about the problem is the problem. One of the most important principles of marriage is: If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. Do you make jokes about the other person in front of others and then try to cover it by saying, “I was only joking”?This means when you are finished talking, both of you feel good about the solution. Problems that don’t get fully resolved turn into resentments. Taking care of each other’s needs is about wanting to give each other pleasure. We respect a person's good character, meaningful aspirations and goals he/she is committed to, and the good deeds he/she has done, not the way he/she looks. If you truly respect someone, you talk to that person with respect and dignity. One of the biggest ways that couples demonstrate a lack of respect for each other is by playing games. Mature people who respect each other don’t play games. #6: For the Man: Are You Ready to Take Responsibility for a Wife and Family?