Rules dating my daughter

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Actually, before you answer that you need to read over my ten simple rules to date her, sign your life away (just technicalities), as well as give some samples of your DNA for future use, if necessary.

However, to make certain that your clothes do not accidentally slide off or spontaneously explode off your body due to being too tight, I will take my staple gun and fasten your jeans snugly in place to your waist.

Rule #4 In today’s world, sexual activity among young people is becoming rather common place.

There will be no text messaging, video chatting; late night cell phone calls either because I will be watching…everything.

Any type of romantic movie theme is strictly prohibited. Rule #9 If you lie to me about anything I will find out.Even though I may seem like an out of touch, “old geezer” I will find out the truth and trust me, I do know how to Google someone.Also, I have a very large yard with an over-sized shovel. My daughter is an extension of me and if you underestimate me than you are definitely underestimating her.Just because this is a commonality does not mean that it will be happening with my daughter.If you think that you will have opportunities to explore your sexual activity with my daughter you will find out that I will be the only type of birth control that you will need.I have two beautiful and intelligent daughters, and eventually a boy smart enough to see it was going to come calling. My daughter and her boyfriend spend almost every free moment they have in our house.

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