One of you is going to have to get out." Give the group a moment to individually think about the clip that they just watched.
Then, ask the group, "What emotions did you feel when watching the clip?
Tension can also occur in non-abusive relationships but it never leads to abuse.
However, in an abusive relationship during this stressful period, the victim feels like they are "walking on eggshells," meaning if they slip up at anytime they could "set the abuser off." Once the explosion resolves, the abuser often tries to repair the relationship and most often the relationship cycle starts back at the honeymoon phase.
In facilitating this discussion, make sure the following points are made: Abusive and non-abusive relationships start the same, like a honeymoon: pleasant and fun.
The honeymoon phase allows a couple to bond and develop strong feelings for each other.
Distribute the Video Viewing Guide and ask the students to think about the questions on the handout as they watch the video clip: If you can't show the clip from the Web, cue the video about eight minutes into the episode, to where a young man named Michael says "When I do hit her, it's with compassion.
It's not like a blow." Stop the tape when you see a group of young people in a classroom and one of them says, "If you gotta hit on your woman, I don't think you should be in that relationship.
This may help you explain the cycle for your students.)Discuss with the group the relevance of these words to violence and abuse, explaining that there is a similar pattern in most abusive relationships.
To illustrate this, ask the group the following questions: Q: Why would a victim of abuse agree to remain in an abusive relationship and start the cycle over again?
A: The victim may grant forgiveness because maybe they love their abuser, they hope the abuse will never happen again, they fear what the abuser will do if they end the relationship, and they are in denial about the seriousness of the abuse.
The Cycle of Violence is the term given to the cycle that abusive relationships usually follow.
Learning about the cycle will help to explain why it can be difficult to get out of such a relationship.
Conduct a brainstorming session about what questions might arise for a person who is trying to leave an abusive relationship.